• 05Dec

    Restaurant terminology

    Try Before You Buy Aprons

    These are those items of staff uniform, which are so un-proudly worn by waiting staff that have food dribbled down the front offering that tasty opportunity to Try Before You Buy!

    The Tyson Menu

    These are menus that look like opponents that came second in a fight with Mike Tyson.

    The Tyson Tasting Menu

    Much like its cousin The Tyson Menu, this provides the customer with that little extra, an opportunity to lick the menu cover which proudly shows the spillages from previous orders.

    The Old Buffet Table

    Now this is an absolute gem because this offers the customer to connect with previous guests who drop bits of food on the table and are left by sloppy staff.

    A Rusedski

    This is a restaurant much like Greg Rusedski great service but not much else.

    A Henman

    These are restaurants that you expect so much from but turn out to have very weak service and ultimately fail to deliver

    A Rooney

    These are restaurants that are so much better than they look

    A Towering Inferno

    These are restaurants that go from one disaster to another

    A Victoria Beckham

    These are restaurants offering nouveau cuisine where the food looks great but has absolutely no substance.

    A Fawlty Towers

    You never get what you ordered, you daren’t complain and the staff know more than the manager

    A Gordon Brown

    This is where a restaurant slips in a stealthy service charge or adds something to the bill that you did not expect.

    A Simon Cowell

    A restaurant that is expensive and pretentious

    A Tina Turner

    A restaurant thats simply the best and better than all the rest

    A Tiger Woods

    A restaurant thats always a winner

    A Disney

    This is Mickey Mouse restaurant

    A Silicon Valley

    A restaurant that serves everything with chips

    A Twiggy

    This is a vegetarian restaurant- no meat

    A British Rail

    The restaurant is uncomfortable to sit in, food is always late and there are no local alternatives

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